A Biblical view of conflict resolution - 12 steps

A Biblical View of steps to conflict resolution  -  12 steps

Many people, even many Christians think that we should confront people with the things they do that offend us, thinking confrontation is the key to conflict resolution. While there is a place for confrontation let’s look at what scripture says about it in a 12 step format. Hope you are blessed,   Dave

1. “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ² For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. ³ “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.(Matthew 7:3-5)  Scripture is clear that before we even look at what someone else has done wrong we need to judge our own heart, actions and intentions.

2. Having made certain our heart is pure and we have cleared ourselves, repenting of any wrong we have done, we then can move on to the next step.   21Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" 22Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.(Matthew 18:21-22)       The forgiveness we offer is not based on the outcome or response of the other party. We are to forgive as we have been forgiven(Colossians3:13), unconditionally, in advance.      But God demonstrates his own love (and forgiveness) for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.(Romans 5:8) Any confrontation we have with others must come from a heart of unconditional forgiveness.

3. Repeat step 2   Whatever the offense or sin.

4. See step 3

5. See step 4

6. See step 5

7. See step 6

8. See step 7

9. Repeat steps 2-8 seventy(70) times.

10. Now if you still feel that it is important and necessary you are ready to confront the other person.

11. Galatians 6:1 says:   Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.      Restoration should always be the goal of our confrontation and conflict resolution. Restoration to God first and to fellowship and ourselves.  

12. If restoration is not the goal in going to your brother/sister Repeat steps 1-9